deep regular rumbling

stepping aside

2009-06-11T12:23:00.003+08:00

I think the time has come to rest this case.

come by the new place, go http://fuckingspiders.wordpress.com/

OUTtake

2009-03-18T23:08:00.002+08:00

For a million smiling consitpated pictures for work.

I miss making the pictures I want to make but

hell i think i've forgotten how to see.

jeez. I never thought I could be so restless yet so

unmotivated.

Horizon.

2009-03-07T01:51:00.000+08:00

That tourist thing.

2009-03-02T22:21:00.001+08:00

For the first time in 22 years of being Singaporean I saw the merlion.
All because of an act of God. how poetic. jeez.

I haven't resized it so you can see the little hole if you click to enlarge.
Copyright: SPH
don't you dare nab this pic, lightning will get you too, you see.

on nothing.

2009-01-31T22:30:00.002+08:00

I hardly get this single sullen moment.
the rug sweeps out, standing on too thin air
lurching like a twirled stick;
I wonder if a limb will grow to catch me.
Its not like your watching.

birdsong, the one that got away.

2008-12-13T17:14:00.000+08:00

I will never

2008-11-20T12:30:00.002+08:00

I'll never do this. (i think)
I like being unbound physically.

But these words from the venerable magnum agency
and my restless bother me.
Its more than being strapped to a desk, its being bound by
demands. Its changed the way I see.
Don't get me wrong, this front row seat on the world rocks
yet the price for the ticket worries me.

In the meantime... shoes and a haircut are what i need now.
btw Timberlands really stink, all the new ones just don't last.

So generic

2008-11-13T02:02:00.005+08:00

Generic pictures seem to be the staple for news, thanks to this impending recession.
But for the moment, i think they are just a way to keep me sane in this crazy week of constant (almost always boring) profiles.

y'know... oooh that looks interesting... ooh news value... go snappity snappity snap.
Restless and sleepless are a very bad combination.

I get distracted.

2008-11-04T22:23:00.001+08:00

My favourite assignment.

2008-11-02T00:29:00.004+08:00

A colleague asked me once, what was my favourite assignment.
This was it. I'll finish this post in a while.

I don't know how I should stray.

2008-10-22T08:31:00.003+08:00

In the light of then I strayed,
stary. I hoped for your salvation from the I I feared.
It seemingly seams itself now.
Focused eyes didn't notice blur.
How now love,
I dare not the trespass of chaos come again.

from then on.

2008-10-22T03:06:00.004+08:00

In strutting light
from a time of innocent pain.
new lightflowed naivete flowed.
poured from that time so long ago.
i almost prayed.

joe nair. blemish, 2006

A certain July Day in Petaling Jaya

2008-10-10T17:42:00.000+08:00

I confess the whole tudung and headband business fascinated me.. political fashion.

incidentals with reprise.

2008-10-07T07:43:00.001+08:00

yeah its like that.

2008-10-07T07:38:00.001+08:00

The week and week after it began to unravel.

dated.

2008-09-17T14:17:00.001+08:00

gimicky i say.

trying.

2008-09-10T00:12:00.003+08:00

Strange dark dazzling dislocation....noyesnoyesnono.
About as substantial as light are these few days,
this heaviness of brightening.
I try with the outtakes but even then, its not cutting anything.

NUMB

2008-09-04T20:41:00.000+08:00

For a few floating days.

quieter.

2008-08-26T18:21:00.004+08:00

To awaken, I hope I dream thought.
Think dreaming refines retrospect forward.
Forwardly facing backwards sates the centre.
Centred inbetweens make hold.
Whole.

feverish perspective

2008-08-25T22:15:00.003+08:00

Its the usual quarterly throat infection.
(its not my smoking mind you throat has been like this since I was like 11)
There's nothing like a mild fever to give perspective i'll say. Listless lazy me has decided that is much better to be purposeless and young than to be old and have outlived my purpose.
You say go get a purpose... do something with your life...
well... that was all in 2004-2006..... check the archives if you must.
Right now, i'm older and can't quite be fucked. (not to be confused with getting laid)

Yeah. So why purpose? So it makes living more bearable?
Maybe its so you can look in the mirror and justifiy your reflection.

Purpose in this town is overrated. Only because everyone here tags their existence to it.
It makes existential questions completely moot.
Cogs in the machine don't question their existence. They are there to turn. Just as they teach us that we are here to churn... grades...awards...KPI... pictures. Its the global economy dearies, we supply and we demand causing values of everything to fluctuate. To generate sustainability, premium must be added. So we supply more and are told to demand more. When ability to supply halts and only demand remainds (as age does to humans) it is inefficient and must therefore be discarded.
Seriously.There's a big hole somewhere in this argument but tell me i'm completely wrong wrong. Because if I tag my purpose=action and purpose=life, that would leave me with absolutely nothing when I have zero action i.e. sick/old/injured/insane
Depressing huh.

I'll remember my purpose when it next manifests. I just to figure this growing old.

As for my reflection... damn that boy needs to hit the gym.

twiddling thumbs

2008-08-08T00:25:00.003+08:00

1 year at news.... God it feels different now.
So much to be learnt, mistakes not to repeat and all i could ask for (its extra I know) is a nice body of personal work. The wonderful random connections with strangers, the sensation of being strangely human and alive. Its like standing in the breeze or gale or calm.
Like a sponge.... its seeping in slowly... i with i could let it linger a little without the work.
But the camera is almost a passport and a talisman, to protect and to pass.

I don't like pictures, just people.

over the shoulder

2008-07-18T23:04:00.004+08:00

lets see it going to be a year in a month or so, since i decided to start listening to the voices in my head/heart (same difference?)defered school, left school. 3.5 almost/maybe relationships. left one job of 2 yrs. left church.one death.
That would be the noteworthy event count.

Its hurt like hell but i wouldn't have it any other way.I've learnt, grown, thought less, felt more.
Found weaknesses and strengths. As if my own slippery needy scumbag-ness that i loathe
couples the fact that I am oh-so-human. Aloof, alone, creator, copycat, wise fool, foolishly wise, attentive, attention seeking, charming, careless. The list of paradoxes goes on. I mumble cos I have lockjaw, i won't admit it cos I forgot who knocked out my jaw. I mumble because I've been told i never had anything good to say all my childhood. That way i justify speaking my mind, no one hears it. I don't care because no one ever cared in a way I cared for. I'm afraid of love. I'm afraid of loving life. I live to die. I work because responsibility is my only justification for living. The list of realizations goes on.

I guess those theatre years made me able to go deep, too deep. God I think i nearly drown sometimes. I look at people and smell pain, hurt something they never got over, see a little of what they will become and then i wonder how the fuck do i have the right to think that of someone else. Especially when i can't get over my own shit. But it makes me feel better really, that i'm not the only one.

Fact is, life will always stink somewhat. We just get used to the smell.
Fact is, for the first time in two years, i would like to think i've never been better.
I want to believe i'm ready. I'm ready now.

growing uneasy

2008-06-24T06:04:00.000+08:00

bits of pieces

2008-06-24T02:20:00.004+08:00

belonging, acceptance, home?

In a curtain of smoke.

2008-05-14T23:26:00.003+08:00

In a curtain of smoke. (a record)

Rolling, it twirls and wondered
blue, shimmering
in the piercing florescent shafts.
It coiled away the colored grinning dinosaurs.
Wrapped in its grey curtain,
my fingers follow black furrows
in your head.
Quiet.Eyes shut.Soft.
Wishing me poured into the black gaps.

still now. hush.
Tame not my longing for your love.
I stay,
grey around till the smoke lifts.

feb/march 08; draft 3/4

listen, watcher.

2008-04-25T13:35:00.002+08:00

besides the fact its been ages since i've done studio work.
A couple of resolutions,
-shudddup, quit bitching, open them fuccking eyes,
open that mind, listen with your heart-

funny I swear i'll find this exact same list in my notebooks from
a couple of years back. I think i'll make a poster.

What does it matter?

2008-04-21T08:22:00.003+08:00

Causality has no indemnity from uncertainty.

like a sailing scythe

2008-04-09T22:03:00.002+08:00

it hung over the blocks. bloody crescent that it was.
the blood red new moon.

I have a feeling of dread, not a sure, consistent one but I know I felt it.
Uncertainty for the loved. Unanswered questions and messages and requests.
Bloodied scythe parted the clouds like hero to infidel,
then succumbs poetically to the darkening horde.

This will linger longer than tomorrow or tomorrows.
I dare not go out tonight.

we wasn't tied down properly.

2008-04-02T04:53:00.009+08:00

what else were we supposed to do. one minute they bring us up then tug at our feet and whoosh it all comes down. i mean for fuck's sake think about it, we were made for something really?

we are constructed, evolved designed.

why so much trouble if you was just going to keep us right here. quit pouting, your too young to be called bitch. you'll certainly grow up to be one. with a bloody big lip at this rate. nonono its not like that, what's the point of the closed eyes and tasting the air. not down here,
its heavy.
it weighs, it occupies space. we're authorities on that dearie, after all anything we do certainly doesn't bear any weight. air heads if you must. you can't even get us on your scales, tie us down and you'll only get the weight of the bonds?

mmmhmm your marvelous binding cords qualify as weight.

fast enough?- and they'll hurt your holding hands hon. not now, the golden gloves upon your digits will hold for the while. we'll see what friction does, they say it goes well with attrition. oh you was just blowing a spit bubble, pout again? uh um whatever.

one day we'll go flying.
High up.
yesyes we know. what goes up must come down. maybe we'll even settle back to ground gently. of course we we will. no burdens. floating down. faster than rising of course. gravity is a law too, a really necessary one don't you think? then, just then i know we will settle.
yes settle, not sink.

not very sure how
or when we'll realize
why we were made.

awkward.

2008-04-02T04:29:00.008+08:00

I mean ma'am who are you really?
No one has asked?
why?

If once I was beautiful? would you believe me?
if once my hips swayed, daintly ?
would your eyes,
young man,
not glaze over?

What was my name? the one they all once knew,
Where is my name?
I remember, they forgot.
I remember they forget.

Soft eyes,
without logic but lust looked at once.
Dark rings now
look back with longing.

There it is now,
that tremor.
in the wrist
wresting me away.

Nv'r mind, my hair is set.
will you give me memory sayang?

no ma'am, I cannot.
remembering is for the rememberer.
i'm sorry .

In review, ill at ease.

2008-03-25T21:12:00.006+08:00

Just going through my edits i think it comes across
as shaken, yet not stirred into anything.

looking at college work from the states makes me think what a
shit ass photoj I am.

damn i need an education.

the strangest collisons

2008-03-18T22:56:00.002+08:00

Its those times when you think you've got your feet up,

the pockets suddenly get flipped over

and everything is suddenly upside down

and comes tumbling out.

'Dude, your out of control.'

I've lost count of the number of times i've thought that.

Still, late at night i think I see mum walking back

down the road as i smoke outside.

It drives me nuts that I can't cry, I have no tears.

I wonder if its just the green mucus from my nose

that makes my head spin so, i rush off to jobs thinking

it'll go away but it only spins more.

I won't be normal, I can't.

The recurrent dream that started when I was 4.

Maybe it was 5, around then when I dreamt of

a canal of a thousand flying bodies.

Bodies flying in and out putrid mud.

It was that canal on walks to the park that spilt out

into the sea. The one that I flew in and out of

with the bodies watching their tortured upturned

faces covered with drying brown mud.

Something took us high above the canal and dunked us

back into the mud and concrete canal again.

I could see bodies being flung the same way

as the waterway stretched into the distance.

Funny, I never once wondered if I was a body too

when I dreamt it.

Over and over again every few weeks and months

I saw this in my sleep.

In-between dreams or as a dream to itself.

It stopped when I was 7.

I don't know why memory brings this back now.

Or why memory never forgot. The terror,

maybe, the foul-smelling fear must have

been something to a 5 year old.

I had to tell someone, somewhere.

Why here i won't know, but I just did anyway.

never yet ready

2008-03-13T00:39:00.002+08:00

from Jan 07, finally finished.

watching/working/waiting

2008-02-29T01:17:00.004+08:00

stuck in space.
almost starting,
almost lingering,
almost finished.

That within and without are whys that wait
for familiar pauses.

there cannot be words required.
no mumbling rumble of future analysed.

silence echoes my dripping sweat
endlessly.

beginings. inbetweens. endings.

2008-02-26T15:26:00.003+08:00

life, loss, love, longing, lonesome death,
none keep tomorrow safe.

To absolutely no-one in particular (seriously)

2008-02-21T13:57:00.008+08:00

You remind me of a bookmark.

expensive, tucked neatly in-between fine papers,

gorgeous, yet never the attention,

formed, without a meaning.

rolereplaced by receipt/napkin of convenient

by the blaseharriedvoraciousevil reader,

banished to favorite (one after virgin) novel

to sit lovingly in yellowing uncoated offset stock.

In books, never the words or the world.

Happy New Year

2008-02-09T01:58:00.001+08:00

Thats the way it is for some i guess

find the sweet spot

2008-02-07T21:23:00.000+08:00

The incredible stars of twilight

2008-02-06T12:33:00.000+08:00

Filler-the awful truth

2008-02-02T13:55:00.000+08:00

All together now:

I. Have a camera.

We. All have cameras.

Therefore.

I am a photographer.

We are all photographers.

ok lah their just fans lah, at jack neo's new movie premiere? like 40 of them, all in black with sunglasses indoors, damn paikia.

I scared.

The incredible darkness of bright.

2008-01-26T17:01:00.000+08:00

To Remember not to forget.

2008-01-23T23:43:00.000+08:00

...Naked I came from my mother's womb
and naked I shall return there,
The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away
Blessed be the name of the Lord.
Job 1:21 (NSAB)

wishes (for new year)

2008-01-04T17:25:00.000+08:00

I miss wishing simple silly things.
misspelling things and laughing at the silliest things.

Realizing that I really am such a child, pretending
and deluding. Its time to stop making excuses
and really just grow up and enjoy living.

It took the best thing ever that I never wished for.
I dare not wish much else, I'm just glad that I met you.

You Know

2007-12-31T08:13:00.000+08:00

I know there is a God when you look at the million and one
strange and wonderful and terrible and painful and scary things
around.

and I know its all good.

Returning truth that harps on me

2007-12-31T02:20:00.001+08:00

CFC-free Frost.
hide,
nuzzle up against
worn warm cotton hoodie.
No favorite sweater
relieves from
cold
within

Old picture

2007-12-30T23:45:00.000+08:00

I studied the picture in my memory.
smooth shapes,
flowing contours,
tone,
shadow.
The playing form of the half-naked
playing,
laughing,
rosy child bathed
in warm light.

Squinting
in the shade of skyscrapers,
at the sign of the road that matched the caption.
gingerly fingering
my black electric baby,
hesitating
from the mockery of my shutter.

Sports

2007-12-14T15:07:00.000+08:00

I never thought i'll really like likeit? I mean i do did sissy shit things like dance and theatre
and read and write but hey I live vicariously everyday. (I love this job {when i'm working that is})

Daughter of Dr Chee

2007-12-11T13:21:00.001+08:00

I only knew him as dad
pa, papa, daddy.
Big, strong,
knew my favorite color, food, toys, things,
Speaks quietly to me
and to fields and buildings loudly.
I hug his thigh,
he gently strokes my head;
while everyone else looks,
idly,
shaking their heads.

Associative Diminishing

2007-12-06T13:17:00.001+08:00

(attracted to light)

i no nice

2007-11-21T05:02:00.000+08:00

and he is boring

and they look bored. blame siao-ons mum trying to bargain.
________
i'm really sorry
seriously, my days have been packed solid since I forgot when.
I'm really really sorry if i owe you a mail or a picture or a beer or a birthday present.
All I do is work and crash. Hopefully it'll clear up soon (but I keep saying that).
Calling is the best way to reach me.

love

joe

thoughts 1 and 2

2007-10-21T23:29:00.000+08:00

kept here for future reference
now on screen it looks fammiliar like seen somewhere before familliar.

till anothernext time amuse yourself with my lovely crazy darlings stick and balloon:
http://sticknballoon.wordpress.com/

Travel Pictures are like onenightstands

2007-10-15T11:35:00.000+08:00

Travel photography is for me something like onenightstands.
ooh thats nice, shoot and scoot and you hope it was pretty.
Most of the time, its forgettable. If your lucky, your lucky.

Hate that, no intimacy, no love, no thought, no understanding.
But that being said there is something about the
impulse, the sudden interest and the excitment of being somewhere new.

I kinda enjoy it. its sorta fun, something to learn from but not something you
do everyday.

Why pictures?

2007-09-27T23:12:00.000+08:00

Once again I 'fess up. I use pictures because there are
some things that I cannot say.

a) Its just not nice and it'll hurt others if put in words
b) I can't get the words out of my mouth, rather I won't admit it.
c) Its there and its pathetic fallacy or my imposition of what I feel upon my subject.
d) Its my subconscious that knows more than what I do so just I flow with it.
e) I'm listening to the voices in my head.
f) Its faster than writing poetry.
g) 'there see.... picture... proof i'm not talking out of my ass'

This mind you is on personal pictures.
Revealing if you can read the picture, if not well... call me i'll explain if I feel like it.
sorry very diva lah... its personal.

On a more confessional note:
I'm really quite a crap photog, I can't hardly expose or focus right.
Embarrassingly ya-ya papaya when I shoot for someone else.
Wish it was said to my face more often.
Shooting for the press does wonders in putting things into perspective.
not to mention humbling you to bits.
That being said i'm quite the emotional wreck these days, its no excuse
for anything though.

I can't wait to get my act together, decide where I'm headed
yet I know its not going to end overnight,
or painless either.

Unfinished thoughts

2007-09-20T22:07:00.000+08:00

May to Sept 07. the expired sensia.

Too much on your head sir?

2007-09-16T03:09:00.000+08:00

Warm fuzzy feeling

2007-09-12T01:56:00.000+08:00

http://www.shift.jp.org/en/archives/2006/08/blank_by_joe_nair.html

I just chanced upon this. I could have teared lor, i didn't know
someone understood. Or at least wrote critically on it.
Its funny seeing it in writing. I didn't even take pictures
of it on the wall or keep the zaobao article, i didn't want
to, i just couldn't bear to. I remember avoiding trains for
months after, silly yes but i simply couldn't. This is almost
closure.

For the millionth time again i'll owe thanks to kaychin
and shirl. :) Its my sheer good luck to have met them.

Funny that its a japanese magazine though. It really upset
me then that I had shot it for Singaporeans and none
seemed to have gotten it. Yet people from everywhere
else can see it. Then again it isn't them.
Its probably easier to look at a picture than a mirror.

But what can I say i like banging on brick walls.
So i'm gonna try again.
I decided to a week ago.

I'll defer school. Go back to making pictures and telling stories.
Produce ads, freelance and teach tuition to feed myself.

Yes. Thats final.

rethinking me

2007-09-04T22:08:00.001+08:00

School has gotten me back into self-portraits and looking at textures.
and well looking. I'm glad.

if there was a way we caught things

2007-09-04T00:48:00.000+08:00

I ask if there was a way to catch the things that swarmed in our
heads, glowing ones and the grey black holes and bag them
and keep them for when the mind could couple them sweetly
with action without the frustration of unrealized desire
and latent energy and discard the pain in-between.
All within the prescribed 24/7.

I breathe and say that i'll follow my heart.
Not the advised difficult/easy way or the cautioned difficult/easy way
but the unchartered way of the gut.
With or without the 24/7.

Why do I see the world in such a removed dislocated manner?
Have all my pictures been the same emotionally?

blow!

2007-09-02T20:51:00.000+08:00

watchescloudsandsuch

2007-08-23T23:24:00.001+08:00

as usual i've run out of words, i don't know what to
say/do/feel somehow i wish i did.

Heard this coming no?

2007-08-22T00:41:00.001+08:00

Teddy

2007-08-17T13:46:00.000+08:00

I caught him out of the corner of my eye, sad, wet,naked in the rain
at the foot of a tree. I couldn't save him but I took a picture.

Sorry-grateful

2007-08-16T02:14:00.000+08:00

What is the Singapore photograph

2007-08-15T04:52:00.000+08:00

Help me out here I can't answer this.
What (to you)is the Singapore Photograph?

y'know like a picture that we all know?
The iconic singapore picture or the one that dwells in our cultural memory?

I can't answer the question for the life of me and it irks me.

Tell/show/link it if you are Singaporean in any sense of the word.

doors

2007-08-04T17:38:00.000+08:00

y'know how they sometimes close and open?

yeah.

then you wonder? which one is the right one?

once again i feel as if its coming apart.

ah joy.

JOE_8808

2007-07-19T23:04:00.000+08:00

I like the image number.
Silly i know but theres something about this picture that
no sense yet sense to me.

Mickey. Memory.

2007-07-14T23:15:00.001+08:00

Outtakes of memory. This is a marker post.
Will write when I find the time.

yah i also say.......

2007-07-13T23:42:00.001+08:00

whinewhinewhinewhine

2007-07-06T17:41:00.000+08:00

I'm being a whiny bitch but my feet really hurt from doing nothing.

peak.

2007-07-05T02:28:00.000+08:00

Is photography past its peak and now a commodity
for comercial/consumer/collector alike?

Has it sold out? or is it just me?

heh.groan

2007-07-05T01:46:00.000+08:00

I don't understand how i can leave the house with laptop camera charging
and come home to find all the powerpoints switched-off.

Must be my mum Lol. so weird. time to get an office heh.

Anyways, up to my nostrils in work and totally not on top of it.
Just so glad i have ppl ard for me (yes you :p!)

Outtake:

I really doubt this will run, client won't like.
But I do, i think its him.
Nathan Hartono that 17 yr old jazz singer.
A young old soul in a candy-cane shirt.

And more tedious stuff.... sleep killers these are...

I don't really ever want to sell my soul like that again. but realllly now...

she

2007-06-27T04:04:00.001+08:00

So strangely she entered my life and became my companion.
The stray with the fancy and no tag.
Smoking buddy in the day or late lonely nights.

Funny how it is when i came back at 4am that friday we sat together.
You closed the distance we always kept, the apathy we both tried to
wear. Curled at my feet. I knew this would be the last time. Whispering
a vain hope for you to be there when i returned from thailand.
We both knew (age would not allow you).

Quiet friend now silent, i know not where you lie.
Maybe you knew more than me. That someone else
might come to fill what we didn't do.
Thank you. I wish i could have told you about it.

For someone who's always supposed to have nice
pictures these are all i got. Perhaps they are apt.
Just a tired old cat that wandered by like clockwork.
She'll be my smoking buddy,
the one who didn't tell me stop.

looming

2007-06-22T15:08:00.000+08:00

Looms beauty within bright dark.
Loving. Unknown.

break

2007-06-16T03:16:00.001+08:00

R/S

2007-05-03T00:24:00.000+08:00

Rub toe. Rubbing watch, rubs mobile phone.

She stares intent.
Words made... lips. tongue-teeth. rear pallette.
stares into brow

Stare at watch;
Icy cold beer drips sweat-slime
rubbed with left, coarse dry ciggie embraces right.

Leaning gesture contacts
shoulder,
rubs in an sms
rubs the brow.
Glance into her hair as she makes your downcast
eyelid return her gaze.

Gorgeous only are the tungsten and blue backlights
to your beauty both
as folded arms reply flailed reaching signs.

You call that your relationship?
oh. how chaste your kiss.

Just because

2007-04-24T00:29:00.000+08:00

Its work and you like it. :)

Its fun and for a friend. :)

Its everything and a privilege to be there.
I'm just glad I could share the moment and watch. :D

well, I won't write but you can read

2007-04-23T23:38:00.000+08:00

I guess i don't really want to talk right now. Its not easy getting my life
back together the way it was, i don't know if I can. I've finally unpacked.
7 months after the move, i guess bit by bit i'll get my ass moving again.
I won't see the morning light in my bunk again. Its all a little surreal

I'm posting too many pictures again, its all from a one of my expired
sensia rolls... sort of the what-I-am-feeling-camera, this roll has been in the
cam for 2-3 months. Its almost boring to tears, cropped alot but still a
personal memento so up it goes. I won't write but you can read.

Won't have to

2007-04-19T21:45:00.000+08:00

scape

2007-04-15T18:19:00.000+08:00

Stripey Goddesses Around

2007-04-14T15:55:00.000+08:00

If not knowing

2007-04-07T23:46:00.000+08:00

stops mattering then i'm just about dead sian.
i'll close my eyes but i'm listening.

Broadway showtunes keep me happy, dance music keeps me chilled.
The sounds between the sounds as i sit or walk send chills up my spine.

I love my mp3 player, I think we all do. Music introduces new worlds, new sounds,
it trancends, till you realise your feet are still stuck in this world.
Unplug it. Listen. Pick up enviromental sound, its not a genre duuuude, its the sounds
around you.
Close your eyes and walk for abit. sit quietly. hear the color, the tones, the mood, the patterns.
No you don't have to identify intervals or the romanian pentatonic (whats that? my point exactly).
Enjoy. Thats all.

I'm tired of seeing. I think i'll hear for a while.

Bad binary

2007-04-02T14:35:00.000+08:00

Screenshots :D.... boredom.... wheee

Y'know how when you work you get in the zone...
or supposed to... not that the pictures are crap
but i've imposed too much into them.
my own general sianness. I don't think i've short-changed
any assignments but i am short changing myself.

I want to give to whatever was in front of the lens.
I know i used to. Now i am a leach, sucking energy to
fuel the photograph.

20 days left of this 2 year sorry excuse from doing good work.
about time too....

yeah

2007-04-01T14:35:00.000+08:00

kindly mount your bag
if you intend to lightly spring
away down steps as you always do.

if conjured tired moments of universal exhilaration
bore you
there are only these eyes to bore into

what?
no!
really.
oh.

well the doors there.
No bell has peel'd
here my fix'd foot shall grow
this boy's fatfannyass ain't goin nooowhere hon.

yeah whatever
yeah whatever my silly bitchy lovely mofo.

Tread softly.

If Utopia

2007-03-28T02:35:00.000+08:00

if Utopia. Istoomuchto ask
for that one grant world
where I can hold you.

i mean just hold;

with nuanced grip.
waxed and waned guilt.

for do i hold strongsoftnotatall?

wash and make grip with stream
color a wash screen

my hand rubbing my stubble is not mine
poke. poked buttons allay. allay lonely every.

L-mouse dble-click
R-mouse (open in new window)

CTL-Print screen will never capture you.

hello concept?

2007-03-24T11:33:00.000+08:00

Theres plenty of stuff i've been meaning to post but haven't had the time.
These are overdue
Not that i'm pleased with them, i'm not nailing it just yet, this is more-less
out of camera i'll repost when i DI again.
worse and best thing about being young huh.
bleah.

Clothing and art direction: Shannon
Models: maggie and shumin (i'll add urs when i repost shums!)
Thank you all for your time and patience :)!

Random moment 2

2007-03-19T00:40:00.000+08:00

why!!... ooh nice light... cam comes out
cam to face... cam off bus wizzes by... twice..
sigh....

Random moment 1

2007-03-19T00:25:00.000+08:00

Woman's rugby 7s match.

Tea

2007-03-13T01:03:00.001+08:00

Just before enlistment, impulse decided that I should find a photo story on the daily lives of illegal workers. Aware of an illegal camp, I grabbed my camera and walked.

It was surreal, following the trails the secondary rainforest, there were clotheslines, tired shacks, wooden platforms and signs of life, but mostly no one. These makeshift dwellings juxtaposed against barely visibly blocks of flats through the trees grated sharply against the Singapore I knew.

Bounding dogs and voices greeted me. I had managed to find the illegals. I must have cringed timidly at the untamed animals as a large barrel-chested man laughingly shoo-ed them away. Communicating in a smattering of different languages he invited me to his camp for tea.

The tea was pleasantly bitter, apparently brewed from roots gathered nearby. The friendly large man shared how they had sneaked in, his native Burma and the family he left behind. By us sat a quiet youth with only a gentle grin for me. We shared the same build and it stunned that he was my age. He drew a nokia from his shorts, ‘Same!’ I had laughed brandishing my own identical phone. With the little language we had the man said that the slender boy was a sex-worker, seemingly offering him to me. I pretended not to understand, hoping I understood wrong.

Later as I walked home, my once familiar urban environment was suddenly alien. Another world not far from my doorstep had been shown to me, ejecting me from my comfort zone. A far broader world with experiences far more legitimate. That boy could have been me and I him.

I could have forgotten it ever happened, walking away with no pictures, no names, never able to see them again.

Yet still I cannot forget the taste of that tea.

This is the poor condensed version i used for uni application

A thought

2007-03-04T20:38:00.000+08:00

No man loves his country because it is great
but because it is his. - CS lewis quoting someone else

We struggle for the significance of ourselves in a
nation that desires significance. For in the age of the
individual there truly seems that there is no place for
the small man, or perhaps the small nation for that matter.

Therein we seek greatness via the indicators of sucess.
Efficency within a process that desires tangible outcome,
to meet set critera in order to 'achieve'. Hence the
infamous KPI (key-performace indicators) that run the
office. Jack Neo's 'everything must be in black and white
photocopy on both sides, 3 working days' is reality that runs
lives. (Its exactly what i'm told everyday)
I'm no corporate and i'm sure it has its merits
in the office but when people get set in a single process,
it reminds me of a hamster running in the wheel in the cage.
Your doing something but getting nowhere fast.

Still I fluff, thats not what really annoys me. Its taking
attitude of tangible outcomes into ones personal lives that
does. Do you expect me to complete your checklist for me.
regular high paying job -tick laundry -tick
always at home- tick getthisdone -tick.
Honestly, go fuck yourself.
(yes you, but your probably too oblivious)
Its all you'll ever get out of a relationship.
You manage businesses,employees even but NOT relationships.
You nuture them you grow them simply because the human being
is not built in isolation. Especially in these days of the
self-fufilment when everything is on instant or on demand,
no one's a streaming video. Everyone is a living changing
organism that desires love respect and an intimate relationship
- somewhere.
Inbetween youtube and msn and your blackberry and emails we
should remember that. Sure chase the money the fame the
illusion of the material, the rush of a good days work.
Really, its nice sometimes.
Still remember, nobody is a right-click and open in new window
we're not programmed that way.

There are things in life we don't choose and things we choose,
but either way its ours. Ours to care, keep and maybe declare.
Thats a process, not an outcome.

will add words later

2007-02-23T03:10:00.000+08:00

To you two, :p! :D.

theraputic

2007-02-22T08:21:00.000+08:00

therapy is cleaning mice

Trackball ones.

take out mouseball, pick slowly at each rotating thingy.

tap out the mouse booger into dustbin.

fix back

use with sense of acomplishment.

Damn awesome optical/laser high speed mice.

Ain't got nothing to pick at

longing

2007-02-17T15:50:00.000+08:00

wishing that the world might end? now?
or just for the sudden crash that'll put you out of it sweetly?
or just for that slightly missing link.
that hole, that someone might just come along and fill.

ever told you i suck at festive occasions?

yeah?
all agnst today is cliche lah, maybe its the age group
so join the club lol.

ohoh dig this too, when many pick an alternative, doesn't that become a norm?

ok kiddies! lets all be different! together! whooohoo

Back alley drama

2007-02-14T00:35:00.001+08:00

Its silly.
Silly like the things I put myself though.
How stupid can I get, how badly can my body fail.
I can only wish it'll be alright.
Can it?

I've already entered the alley.

Retail. Its underside

2007-02-14T00:21:00.000+08:00

2007-02-07T23:25:00.000+08:00

check this event out, the great singapore sing-a-long
very cool :)

all I ever want to do in life

2007-02-05T03:43:00.000+08:00

when trying to look up

2007-02-05T03:35:00.000+08:00

Finding Details

2007-01-27T01:39:00.000+08:00

This hand

2007-01-22T01:48:00.000+08:00

And so

2007-01-13T18:55:00.000+08:00

So we ended up in the zoo on one of those uber rainy days (which are really
begining to grow on me) and well got stuck in the snake place thingy hiding from
the rain. That was really fun, i'll be missing the 1G HRC guys badly.
I'm too lazy to edit them pictures sweet sweet yet so here they are
pretty much as is.

oh I got a copperback, no not a snake, a mouse. Its damn shiok and smooth, luv it.

*yawn* flu making me sleepy.