listen, watcher.

besides the fact its been ages since i've done studio work.
A couple of resolutions,
-shudddup, quit bitching, open them fuccking eyes,
open that mind, listen with your heart-

funny I swear i'll find this exact same list in my notebooks from
a couple of years back. I think i'll make a poster.

What does it matter?

Causality has no indemnity from uncertainty.

like a sailing scythe

it hung over the blocks. bloody crescent that it was.
the blood red new moon.

I have a feeling of dread, not a sure, consistent one but I know I felt it.
Uncertainty for the loved. Unanswered questions and messages and requests.
Bloodied scythe parted the clouds like hero to infidel,
then succumbs poetically to the darkening horde.

This will linger longer than tomorrow or tomorrows.
I dare not go out tonight.

we wasn't tied down properly.

what else were we supposed to do. one minute they bring us up then tug at our feet and whoosh it all comes down. i mean for fuck's sake think about it, we were made for something really?

we are constructed, evolved designed.

why so much trouble if you was just going to keep us right here. quit pouting, your too young to be called bitch. you'll certainly grow up to be one. with a bloody big lip at this rate. nonono its not like that, what's the point of the closed eyes and tasting the air. not down here,
its heavy.
it weighs, it occupies space. we're authorities on that dearie, after all anything we do certainly doesn't bear any weight. air heads if you must. you can't even get us on your scales, tie us down and you'll only get the weight of the bonds?

mmmhmm your marvelous binding cords qualify as weight.

fast enough?- and they'll hurt your holding hands hon. not now, the golden gloves upon your digits will hold for the while. we'll see what friction does, they say it goes well with attrition. oh you was just blowing a spit bubble, pout again? uh um whatever.

one day we'll go flying.
High up.
yesyes we know. what goes up must come down. maybe we'll even settle back to ground gently. of course we we will. no burdens. floating down. faster than rising of course. gravity is a law too, a really necessary one don't you think? then, just then i know we will settle.
yes settle, not sink.

not very sure how
or when we'll realize
why we were made.

awkward.

I mean ma'am who are you really?
No one has asked?
why?

If once I was beautiful? would you believe me?
if once my hips swayed, daintly ?
would your eyes,
young man,
not glaze over?

What was my name? the one they all once knew,
Where is my name?
I remember, they forgot.
I remember they forget.

Soft eyes,
without logic but lust looked at once.
Dark rings now
look back with longing.

There it is now,
that tremor.
in the wrist
wresting me away.

Nv'r mind, my hair is set.
will you give me memory sayang?

no ma'am, I cannot.
remembering is for the rememberer.
i'm sorry .